Raising a Wild Child
Raising a wild child can be tough on a mom. The constant fear of their safety. The sneaking feeling that everyone within fifty feet of said child is secretly glancing at you in disapproval. The plethora of comments made by others all too ready to point you in the proper direction of a taming session. It's enough to wear you down. To a nub. I've been there.
I've sat in horror as my little wild man has knocked over a presentation screen in a room full (did I say FULL) of adults waiting for the presentation to start. I've listened as his always-at-full-volume comments about the large people in front of us made me want to back quietly out of the supermarket and never return. I've panicked as his lack of fear for his own little life has led him out into parking lots, busy streets, and yes on one very bad day - oncoming traffic.
I've wondered more than once if there was something wrong with him. I've considered even more often that there might be something wrong with me and my mothering. I've prayed that God help me keep this uncontrollable child safe. And I've secretly asked if He realized that I was the mommy He accidentally dropped this bomb on. Surely this gift was wrapped for another.
The difficult thing about raising a wild child is that when they are in action, you are on trial. Every passerby, onlooker and mother in the midst seems to have an eye out for you when the action revs up. Then, when your little one has reached the third tier of the Walmart toy aisle after you telling him over and over again to get down, someone pops out from behind you to slap a "GUILTY" sign on your back. Well, OK, maybe not...but it often feels that way!
There is nothing like a child you can not control to make you feel like a failure as a parent.
What I've learned over the five years (Yes! We made it to five!) with my little wild man has changed me forever. And changed me for the better. The uncontrollable passion that often leads him into trouble, is the same passion that carries out in unexpectedly wonderful ways in other aspects of his life.
My little guy is incapable of holding back. Not a thought. Not an action. He sees nothing wrong with speaking his mind (very loudly) with whatever is bothering him about his world and whatever injustice is being inflicted on him (usually by his sister). He can not contain his energy as he runs at me, full tackle speed, down the church aisle after children's time. He sees nothing unusual in going up and talking to, or hugging, or just standing beside a complete stranger if he is drawn to them in some way.
Actions that at first I want to stop. Actions that I'm quick to be embarrassed by. Actions that if I think about them...should be carried out by myself as well.
How wonderful the world would be if more adults acted like my child. To speak up for the wrongs. To love with wild abandon. To find those in our midst most in need of our love and attention.
Things that I don't want to stop about him. Things that I'm embarrassed have made me wonder what others thought. Things I want to emulate more.
You see, not only did God realize the child he was giving me, I am convinced that he specifically and strategically planned it. God is using this child in my life to teach me. And teach me he has, I'm a different person than I was five years ago. I take more chances. I love more openly. I see the world, and other mothers with similar children, quite differently.
If you are blessed with a wild child, you are just that: blessed. God has placed this child in your life for a reason. He chose you for this specific task. With this specific child.
I think it takes a special kind of mother to raise a wild child whether they are wild in action, or wild in emotion. If handled in the right way, I truly believe that these are the children that can make the most difference in the world. If they are encouraged instead of contained. If they are built up instead of held back. If they are blessed to be raised by an advocate instead of an opponent. And the choice, like many things in their little lives, is up to you.
It's gonna' be the ride of your life, so hold on. But pay attention. Sometimes the most wonderful gifts come to us packed in such a way that we wonder who in the world wrapped such a thing... a wild animal?
I've sat in horror as my little wild man has knocked over a presentation screen in a room full (did I say FULL) of adults waiting for the presentation to start. I've listened as his always-at-full-volume comments about the large people in front of us made me want to back quietly out of the supermarket and never return. I've panicked as his lack of fear for his own little life has led him out into parking lots, busy streets, and yes on one very bad day - oncoming traffic.
I've wondered more than once if there was something wrong with him. I've considered even more often that there might be something wrong with me and my mothering. I've prayed that God help me keep this uncontrollable child safe. And I've secretly asked if He realized that I was the mommy He accidentally dropped this bomb on. Surely this gift was wrapped for another.
The difficult thing about raising a wild child is that when they are in action, you are on trial. Every passerby, onlooker and mother in the midst seems to have an eye out for you when the action revs up. Then, when your little one has reached the third tier of the Walmart toy aisle after you telling him over and over again to get down, someone pops out from behind you to slap a "GUILTY" sign on your back. Well, OK, maybe not...but it often feels that way!
There is nothing like a child you can not control to make you feel like a failure as a parent.
What I've learned over the five years (Yes! We made it to five!) with my little wild man has changed me forever. And changed me for the better. The uncontrollable passion that often leads him into trouble, is the same passion that carries out in unexpectedly wonderful ways in other aspects of his life.
My little guy is incapable of holding back. Not a thought. Not an action. He sees nothing wrong with speaking his mind (very loudly) with whatever is bothering him about his world and whatever injustice is being inflicted on him (usually by his sister). He can not contain his energy as he runs at me, full tackle speed, down the church aisle after children's time. He sees nothing unusual in going up and talking to, or hugging, or just standing beside a complete stranger if he is drawn to them in some way.
Actions that at first I want to stop. Actions that I'm quick to be embarrassed by. Actions that if I think about them...should be carried out by myself as well.
How wonderful the world would be if more adults acted like my child. To speak up for the wrongs. To love with wild abandon. To find those in our midst most in need of our love and attention.
Things that I don't want to stop about him. Things that I'm embarrassed have made me wonder what others thought. Things I want to emulate more.
You see, not only did God realize the child he was giving me, I am convinced that he specifically and strategically planned it. God is using this child in my life to teach me. And teach me he has, I'm a different person than I was five years ago. I take more chances. I love more openly. I see the world, and other mothers with similar children, quite differently.
If you are blessed with a wild child, you are just that: blessed. God has placed this child in your life for a reason. He chose you for this specific task. With this specific child.
I think it takes a special kind of mother to raise a wild child whether they are wild in action, or wild in emotion. If handled in the right way, I truly believe that these are the children that can make the most difference in the world. If they are encouraged instead of contained. If they are built up instead of held back. If they are blessed to be raised by an advocate instead of an opponent. And the choice, like many things in their little lives, is up to you.
It's gonna' be the ride of your life, so hold on. But pay attention. Sometimes the most wonderful gifts come to us packed in such a way that we wonder who in the world wrapped such a thing... a wild animal?
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